The Conglamorations of Tu
by Hsumi
Summary: This is a joint project between Jessie-chan (Vampire-Slayer-2450) and myself. The first chapter was done by me, the second by jessie-chan the third by me, and so-on. Rating may go up in later chapters. R&R! ch. 8 and 9 are up.
1. In which I begin the tale

"Kat-chan, is it really necessary to look like a dork while trying to fix a generator?" Jessie-chan held a candle while watching Kat's pitiful attempts to get electricity back in her house.

"I can handle it!"

"It can't possibly be as hard as you make it look."

"It's difficult! Trust me!"

There was an odd sound, and the lights flickered on.

"See! I told you I could handle it!" Kat beamed at her work. Jessica extinguished her candle and sat down in a chair in the corner of the basement.

"So…Now what?" Jessie-chan asked. Kat grinned. "Kat…I know that look. Don't go and do something stupid like last time."

****

Flashback:

__

Jessie-chan: "Kat-chan? I really don't think that falling down a well will transport you to feudal Japan…"

Kat jumps into the water-filled well.

****

SPLASH!!!!

Five minutes later…

__

Jessie-chan: "What on earth possessed you to do that?!"

Kat: "It worked in Inu-Yasha!"

Jessie-chan: *sigh* "Haven't you learned that everything you see in anime isn't necessarily true?"

Kat: "…"

Kat: "You serious?"

****

End Flashback.

"Nope! This'll work for sure!" Kat grinned and skipped merrily over to something big that was covered by a sheet. She pulled the sheet off and there stood the oddest machine Jessie had ever laid eyes on.

"I call this the **Ani-Sum 2.0**!" Kat beamed brighter.

Jessie-chan went pale. "Not another invention!"

"It works! I've tested it already, see." Kat pointed to a black cat that had abnormally large, green eyes. "So what if it still has a few bugs to work out, it _does_ work!"

"So…what exactly does it do?" Jessie asked skeptically. "Well, it transports any animate object to or from different worlds."

Jessica blinked.

"Allow me to demonstrate…" Kat messed with the control panel and pressed a button. Seconds later a hissing sound and a bright light came from the machine.

"…Nothing happened." Jessie said after another five seconds. Kat giggled insanely. "Something happened, Jessie-chan…" She pointed to a spot near the stairs where a sleeping form was sprawled out in a rather uncomfortable position.

Jessie inched nervously toward the unknown visitor. She let out a small squeak when she saw who it was. "Yue?!"


	2. In which Jessie continues

Jessie carefully helped the unconscious guardian out of the rather uncomfortable position, which happened to be upside down with one leg bent over his head.  
  
" Oh my gosh Kat-chan! I can't believe one of your insane, impractical, hazardous contraptions actually WORKED without blowing up the house!"  
  
" ..........MY INVENTIONS ARE NOT INSANE AND HAZARDOUS!!!.....And I didn't blow it up THAT badly....We were still able to repair it after a few years... "  
  
Jessie ignored this admonishment and sat, starry eyed and drooling, over the still unconscious Yue. Kat-chan soon realized Jessie was ignoring her and so came near her and sat. The guardian soon stirred and opened his catlike, amethyst eyes.  
  
" Uhhhg.....My head.....What in the name of Clow just happened? Where am I?"  
  
It was then he noticed the pair of large, shiny brown eyes staring intently, and rather scarily, at him.   
  
" Who in Clow's name are you?"  
  
" .........OH MY GOSH!! YUE! It IS you! AHHHH!!!!!!!!"  
  
" ....................That did not answer my question, Miss."  
  
" OH! I'm sorry, my name is Jessica, but you can call me Jessie."   
  
Jessie held out her hand for him to shake it. Instead, he stood up and bowed deeply to her. Kat-chan beamed up at him, as she was still sitting on the floor, and grinned a very large, toothy grin. Yue looked around with those cynical eyes, and then asked a very short, simple question:  
  
" Just _where_ am I, pray tell?"  



	3. Something's fishy about that machine

"You're in my house! I'm Kathrine, or Kat-chan. Whichever you prefer." Kat smiled at her 'guest'.

"Am I even still in Japan?" Yue asked, still a bit confused.

Kat and Jessie looked at each other. "You're not even in your world anymore." Jessie explained.

Kat got up off the floor and picked up the little black cat. "This is Kuroneko-sama. He's from a world called 'Gunsmoke', in the universe called Trigun." Kuroneko jumped out of her arms and walked away.

Kat walked over to the machine and messed with the controls again. "See, this machine can instantly transport any animate object to or from any world." She said, trying to get Yue to understand the concept. 

"And that's how you got here. Surprisingly enough, this invention didn't screw up the cosmos or blow up Kat-chan's house or anything like that." Jessie stated knowingly. Kat glared daggers at her best friend.

Yue still had a confused look on his face.

"Okay! Now that you're living your personal fantasy, time for me to live mine!" Kat said to Jessie. "You're not going to transport that demon here are you?" Jessie asked skeptically.

The machine made its hissing noise and the light appeared again. A strange person that Kat recognized as Seiyuki lay sleeping on the floor.

Kat bent down and shook him a little. He woke up slowly, and the first thing he saw was a pair of hazel eyes. "Where the hell am I?" He said as soon as he woke up. Kat helped him up and got him to a chair. He was a bit more dazed that Yue.

Yue looked in astonishment. "How did he get here?"

"The same way you did I guess." Jessie answered simply. 


	4. piano? When did we get a piano?

"I am not quite sure I follow you Miss Jessie and Kat-chan..." Yue said, arching one perfectly groomed, cynical eyebrow at the two.   
  
"Well, it's very simple, " Started Kat-chan, " this machine utilizes bio-nuclear and supernatural spirit energy to transport any animate or even non-reality existent organism from wherever they are placed in ANY universe parallel to this one to....well this universe. Simple as that. " She finished with a big grin.  
  
Yue shrugged and looked around curiously. He seemed VERY interested in the old, dusty Grand Piano that Jessie kept orderly, but not cleanly arranged in one dimly lit corner of the basement. He gently floated upward and towards the instrument, making very faint flaps of his wings so as not to dirty them on the ceiling, and sat down on the seat of it. He gently flipped through the pages of the dusty song book resting on the place for holding the music sheets until he found one he liked.  
  
"May I? " He asked politely.  
  
"Um...Sure I guess... " Jessie replied.  
  
Yue nodded his thanks and gradually began to play 'Moonlight Sonata' by Ludwig van Beethoven. Kat-chan stared, mesmerized by the soft and delicate sound of the piano she rarely heard anymore since Jessie suddenly stopped playing as frequently as she used to, then looked over to say something to Jessie but immediately face vaulted at the sight of her friend in a puddle of mush at Yue's feet as he was playing.  
  
"Oh my goodness..." Kat mumbled as she watched her friend.  
  
"Uh...S'cuse me? What about me? I'm still here you know." Seiyuki said in a very annoyed tone.  
  
"Oh...Sorry, I kinda forgot about you for a minute there." Kat-chan apologized.  
  
"More like 20 minutes."  
  
"Sorry! "  
  
"Whatever...Now explain to me EXACTLY how I got here, and make it good."  
  
"Oh boy.....OK it goes like this...." Kat-chan started explaining everything to Seiyuki.  
  



	5. machineerror!

A/N: This story may not be as funny as others you have read, but bear in mind that many of the things said are inside jokes, and may make no sense whatsoever to the reader, but are priceless to Jessie-chan and me.

BTW, Kourin is a girl I made up and hate. Seiyuki is the super drool-worthy bishounen that I created.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Seiyuki stared blankly, adding in a clueless nod every few seconds. "Yoooouuuu don't have a clue as to what I'm saying, do you?" He shook his head vigorously. Kat sighed in defeat. "Well, to put it simply, you're not in your world anymore. Seiyuki's eyes widened to the size of saucers.

"I knew it! This is just like that 'Twilight Zone' thing Kourin is always talking about!" He jumped into the air and made a mad dash for the wall, clinging to it like the three other people in the room were zombies.

"Kourin?" Jessie looked at Kat oddly. "Who's Kourin?"

A little storm cloud had materialized over Kat's head and there was a dangerous glint in her eyes.

"Kourin. Kooouuuuuuurin. Kouriiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnn…" Her eyebrow twitched. She dived at Seiyuki, scaring him half to death.

"Don't ever say that name in my presence." She spat at him.

"H-hai kijo…"

Kat beamed. Jessie and Yue sweatdropped. Seiyuki cowered. Kuroneko meowed. Rats foraged for crumbs. Water dripped… *Kat hits herself to stop the rambling.* 

"Good. Now…" Kat began, a spotlight appeared over her head, and Sakura blossoms flew around a now chibi-ized version of her. "Konnichiwa Tenshi Youkai Seiyuki from your creator and admirer: The great Kathrine!" She yelled into a microphone that magically appeared. "Don't let your head get too big, bakaneko, it might explode." Jessie added in, causing Kat to hide in the corner, drawing little circles on the floor with her index finger.

"Eh…" Seiyuki said with a big sweatdrop. Jessie's own sweatdrop disappeared and she said simply, "Don't worry, she may seem scary, but she's really quite a naïve little pushover." Kat recovered. "I am NOT naïve!" "Yeah? *Gasp!* Is that Kyou Souma over there?!" Jessie pointed to a random spot on the wall behind Kat. "Really?! Where?!" Kat turned around quickly and stared at the wall in futility. "I don't see anything." She added solemnly. Jessie held back a snigger. "Naïve, _and_ gullible." She said, proving her point.

Kuroneko rubbed against Seiyuki, causing him to stiffen up. "On-oni-nek-neko!" The cat stared at him. "Meow." Kat walked over to the cat and picked him up. "That's right, people are going to get suspicious if you don't appear in every episode." She pranced over to the machine and punched in a few figures. It beeped in protest.

"Uh, oh…" She said, her face pale.

"What do you mean, 'Uh, oh'?" Jessie asked suspiciously.

"Uhm, I didn't happen to tell you this thing didn't work in reverse, did I?"

"WHAT???!!!!!"


	6. we can't go home?

" WHADDAYA MEAN IT DOESN'T WORK IN REVERSE?!?!?!?!?!?" Jessie screamed, as her head grew to enormous proportions.  
  
" I'm sorry! I had no idea it wouldn't go backwards!" A little chibi Kat chan wimpered with tears streaming down her face.  
  
" OK, " Jessie's head went back to normal as she calmed down, " We just need to think about this for a second..... OHHHHH THIS IS BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!"   
  
" Excuse me, but what is so bad? What are you two so upset about?" An obviously confused Yue asked. (A/N: Yue is so cute when he's confused!)  
  
Kat and Jessie stopped yelling and looked over at him. Clearly, neither he nor Seiyuki understood what was happening, and quite frankly they had no clue how to explain to them that they could not go home. Jessie sighed and walked up to Yue, looking at him with a clearly forced look of cheer on her face.  
  
" Well Yue, what we mean by it doesn't work in reverse is.... We can't send you, Seiyuki, or Kuroneko back to your homes. I'm sorry, we'll fix it as fast as we can but..... actually there may be a chance that we can't fix it. It's 50/50, cards on the table."   
  
" So I cannot return to my world? I may never see Sakura, Cerberus, or any of my friends again?"   
  
" I'm afraid so."   
  
Yue fell silent, as did Seiyuki. All was silent in the dusty basement for a while. It was not until Yue quietly lifted off the ground and flew out of the basement door that the silence was broken.  
  
" Yue? Where are you going? YUE!? Wait up!" Jessie followed him out the door.  
  
"So.....I can't go home either right? I can't see my sister or brother or that evil neko again?" Seiyuki asked quietly.  
  
Kat chan nodded as she reached for the machine's blueprints.  
  
" YATTA!!!! HAI HAI !!!!!!!! I may never have to see the Oninikko again! " Seiyuki jumped around in joy.   
  
Kat chan sweatdropped. " Oy, you don't get it, do you? YOU may not be concerned about going home, nobody knows you exist except me and Jessie, but Yue and Kuroneko.....They're a different story."  
  
" How?" Seiyuki asked.  
  
" Well, unlike you, practically the ENTIRE WORLD knows THEY exist, and if they stop showing up in episodes of their respective cartoons, there will be some MAJOR confusion."   
  
" Oh......So? What's that got to do with anything?"   
  
" YOU IDIOT!! If Yue and Kuroneko don't go home the ENTIRE world will be put into planet-wide confusion! Humans are petty, dishonest, simple minded creatures, if just one aspect of their daily life is changed they go completely MAD! They'll riot, storm our home, and possibly kill us!"   
  
" Oh.....That IS bad!"  
  
" Duh."  
  
" So.....Where'd that other girl go? She just kinda ran off after that guy with the purple eyes."   
  
" She probably went to see if she could help him. He didn't seem too happy about the fact that he probably may never go home." Kat chan commenced to study her machine in various parts, banging on a few with a hammer.   
  
" Why would she help him? What,does she feel affections for him or something?"  
  
" Oh yeah! Jessie's had a crush on him since the 6th grade, and by now it's probably more than just a crush."  
  
" Meaning.....?"  
  
" Meaning she LOVES him, duh. So therefore she wishes to comfort him in times of despair and or sadness."  
  
" I thought all humans were petty and dishonest simple minded creatures who are sent into fits of panic when their daily lives are changed and all that crap?"  
  
" Well, you see, Jessie isn't really human.....Neither am I. We're both MIXED with humans, but neither of us are fully human, so we have some emotions that today's humans are incapable of."   
  
"Oh."  
  
Kat chan resumed examining her machine while Seiyuki began to examine the objects in the basement. He was fascinated by the washing machine and was curiously looking at it, never touching, until......  
  
" Hmm.... Huh? Whooo.....Big....Shiny.....Red....Button....."  
  
" SEIYUKI DON'T TOUCH THAT! THAT'S THE SELF DESTRUCT-"  
  
**KA-BOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!!**  
  
" ..........Button.........." Kat chan coughed through the dust and extinguished a small flame from her tail with her fingers.  
  
" Sorry.... I couldn't resist it, it was just so SHINY."  
  
" That's alright, it was gonna blow sooner or later on it's own anyhow. Well I can't seem to figure out how to fix this right now, let's go find Jessie and Yue and work on it tomorrow."  
  
Kat chan led Seiyuki out of the basement, turning out the light behind her. After hours of searching they found them, sitting in a tree, arguing over who could beat who in a piano contest.   
  
" Yue you couldn't beat me if you tried!"   
  
" I could so!"  
  
" Could not!"  
  
" Could too!"   
  
" Not!"  
  
" Too!"  
  
" NOT!!!"  
  
" TOO!!!!!!"  
  
" AHEM." Kat chan stopped the arguement. " Well it looks as if you're both feeling better, so shall we go home now and get some rest?"  
  
" Sure. Come on Yue, we can finish this battle later." Jessie hopped out of the tree, followed by Yue. All five (including Kuroneko) headed home.  
  
" Umm...One question..." Seiyuki started as they neared the doorstep.  
  
" Yes..?" Kat chan replied.  
  
" Where are WE supposed to sleep?"  
  
" Ummm......" Kat chan started, " Uh, Jess?"  
  
" Kat?"


	7. what do you suggest?

"Uh...well, there is a spare room - but it only has one bed." Kat began, a bit nervously. "Yue can change to Yukito and-" 

"Wait!" Jessie cut her off. "First, Yukito is a totally separate person than Yue, therefor we would have to explain again." She observed.

"Problem." They said in unison.

Meanwhile, Seiyuki was looking around and spotted a large oak, several hundred years old, and claimed it as his.

"Hey! I found my bed! Give bird-boy the room." Seiyuki waved them all off and headed towards the tree. Yue glared at the 'bird-boy' comment and turned back to the girls.

"Looks like 'bird boy' gets the spare room." Kat-chan sniggered. Both Jessie and Yue glared daggers at her.

Seiyuki climbed the branches, narrowly dodging a large spider's web.

"Spiders. I HATE spiders…" They reminded him of his brother, his terrible, venomous, puppet master of a brother. Seiyuki shivered at the thought of a person being shredded to bits from several threads.

He reached a branch near the top and looked out across the vast scenery of city and then endless field.

"Wow…"

"Well, here you are," Kat said, showing them the spare room.

Yue bowed deeply. "I thank you."

Kat blushed slightly, with a "No trouble at all…" then noticed Jessie glaring at her. She closed the door after Yue went in. "What? I don't _like_ him if that's what it is! You know I like Seiyuki!"

Jessie broke into a grin. "Good! Now that that's settled, Um, how are we going to explain this to your parents?"

"Yue could become Yukito, and we could tell my mom that he's a friend of yours. We could say he doesn't have a place to stay because his parents are out of town so I suggested that he stay over here." Kat beamed.

"Yeah, the only problem is that things like that only happen in shoujo manga. And what about Seiyuki?" Jessie pointed out.

"That's a tough one. We'll have to keep him out of sight."

Jessie's jaw dropped. "THAT'S you plan?! Keep him out of sight?! Do you have any idea how hard that's going to be?! He stands out like a sore thumb! Last I checked, red eyes, fangs, elf ears, silver hair, claws, horns, feathers, and a tail is NOT normal!"

"Then what do YOU suggest?"

……………………………..

I have a feeling this is going to be a loooooooong story…


	8. We are geniuses!

" Why are you asking ME?! He's YOUR creation, YOU deal with it!"  
  
Kat chan heaved an exasperated sigh and plopped onto the floor. " Well....We COULD bring the hologram watch that Nightcrawler uses in X-Men Evoloution here..."  
  
" That could work....GREAT IDEA!!" Jessie and Kat did a high-five. After the high-five, they proceded to dance and sing "We Solved A Problem We Are Such Geniuses!!" very loudly.   
  
(Both together in the tune of "The Ants Go Marching")  
  
" _We solved a problem! We are such geniuses! Hoorah! Hoorah!  
We found a way to hide the demon! Hoorah! Hoorah!  
The 'rents won't know that we screwed up!   
We'll send him home and then live it up!  
And we'll all live happily ever after! Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah!"  
_  
" *Ahem!* Excuse me Ladies...."  
  
Jessie and Kat stopped rejoicing to look up and see Yue, his head poking out of his bedroom door. Jessie sweatdropped, blushing massively at the display of SEVERE immatureness that her longtime crush had most likely and probably DID witness.  
  
" Ehh heh heh....U-um, y-yes Yue? W-what is it?" Jessie stammered.  
  
" Well, I do realize that you and your seemingly psychotic friend here are clearly happy about your solving the problem of short, pointy-eared and immature, but would you mind please quieting down a bit? I do not sleep but I still enjoy my peace and quiet."  
  
" Oh! Heh heh...N-no problem....S-sorry about that.....um listen Yue, exactly how much of that sickening display did you see and or hear?" Jessie asked, pulling herself together.  
  
"...................................."  
  
"That's not too comforting _Bird-Boy_..." Kat chan stated, glaring at him for the 'Psychotic' remark.  
  
".....I saw and heard every word and movement." Yue said in a calm voice, glaring at Kat for her insult to his wings.  
  
Jessie's face went blank and a blush as red as a rose spread across her face. She stood there for a whole two minutes as Kat and Yue stared at her, Yue with a puzzled look on his face.  
  
" Why is she frozen like that? And blushing as bad as Syaoran Li?" He asked.  
  
" Don't you get it you dingbat? She _LIKES _you! Duh!" Kat said in a matter-of-fact voice.   
  
" Likes me? As in....Well, attracted to me romantically?"  
  
" Yes, she's been since the 6th grade.....Good thing she's frozen stiff or she would've killed me just now...."   
  
".................................."   
  
" Huh?.....Ooooohhh....Looks like Bird-Boy has a little crush of his own!" Kat tried muffle back a laugh as Yue's face, too, went blank and he blushed a deep crimson, but it came out a snort and errupted into hysteric laughter that shook Jessie back into reality.  
  
" AHH! Kat! You better go get that holo-watch, and I'm gonna go to bed! Good night Yue! 'Nighty-night Kat! 'NIGHT SEIYUKI!" She yelled out the window to the large oak tree Seiyuki had made his domain. She bolted to her room in Kat's house, barely hearing the shouted "Goodnight" from Seiyuki's tree.  
  
" Yes, I too shall retire to my quarters for the night...Goodnight Mistress Kat chan, GOODNIGHT MISTRESS JESSIE!" Yue yelled his goodnight to Jessie who was halfway down the hall then retreated back into his room, closing the door and clicking the lock behind him.  
  
" Well.....That went well....Well I better go get that watch or we'll REALLY have a problem tomorrow 'cause we can't leave Seiyuki here while we go grocery shopping, there's too many shiny things...." Kat said to herself as she went back to the basement to transport the holo-watch into their world.


	9. The death of Kourin! Woohoo!

Kat hummed a nameless tune as she trotted upstairs with the holo-watch. The day was getting better by the minute.

*flashback* 

Kat was messing with various machine parts. It wasn't until the machine protested again that she remembered that inanimate objects _couldn't be transported through it._

Kat *pondering*: With my almighty authoress powers, I can create a character with a holo-watch and teleport them here. Then I could take the watch, brutally murder the character, stuff the bloody carcass in a burlap sack and dump it into the lake. Then I could make the character magically re-appear in their world with no harm done!

Kat appeared with an evil glint in her eye and she pulled a life-size, fully functional, (and rather sharp) replica of the buster sword out from behind her back.

A slightly dazed Kourin appeared out of thin air with her new holo-watch.

"Die B****!!" Kat ran at Kourin, buster sword in the air.

*The following scene has been omitted for the sake of those with a weak stomach, high blood pressure, or those faint of heart. …We thank you for your patience.*

__

*Scene cuts to a lake*

Kat tossed the bloody sack into the lake where it was instantly swallowed by a large shark. Why sharks were in a lake is beside the point.

A slightly dazed Kourin appeared back in her own world without any memory of the incident.

*End flashback*

She headed to Jessie's room and knocked on the door.

"Hey, I got the watch. I'm going to bed now. 'Night!"

A muffled response that was clearly a 'good night' came from the other side of the door.


End file.
